Tips to living with roommates

First encounters with new roommates can feel a little awkward, and first impressions aren’t always the full picture. Try giving each other the benefit of the doubt — people may be shy, tired, overwhelmed, or just settling in. Instead of diving into deep conversations right away, start with something casual. Ask about their program, where they’re from, what kind of music they’re into — simple stuff to get the ball rolling.

Once you’ve both settled in and feel more comfortable, ease into the bigger conversations — like how you like to keep the space, sleep schedules, or how you feel about guests. No need to rush it. Safe conversations — the kind where everyone feels respected, heard, and not judged.

Building that roommate connection takes a bit of time, and that’s totally normal.

• Begin with easy questions

• Plan activities together

• Shared living conversation starters

• Get to know each other’s habits

• Talk about alcohol and cannabis

• Safety & security: looking out for each other

• Guests and shared items

• Cleaning responsibilities

• Handling conflicts

• Where do you call home?

• What’s your major?

• Why did you choose UFV?

• What are your favourite things to do?

Spending intentional time together can help build a stronger, more respectful living dynamic. Try planning a few shared activities — like cooking a meal, attending a campus event, or exploring the local area.

These moments help build trust and open communication over time and make it easier to approach future conversations — including tough ones — in a safe, calm, and collaborative way.

Getting on the same page with your roommates doesn’t mean having all the answers — it just means being open to the conversation. Here are a few key questions to help guide your discussion and set some shared expectations. These talks often require compromise, and it helps to assume good intentions as you work things out.

Living together is a lot easier when you understand how your roommates function day to day. These questions can help you learn more about each other's routines, preferences, and study styles — so you can avoid unintentional clashes and create a more comfortable space for everyone.

Substances like alcohol and cannabis are part of life for some students, while others may choose to avoid them entirely for personal, cultural, or health reasons. Whatever your stance, it’s important to talk openly with your roommates about comfort levels and expectation. Safe conversations are respectful, honest, non-judgmental and help keep misunderstanding from growing into conflict.

Here are a few key questions to help start the conversation:

Creating a culture of open communication and respect around safety helps make your shared space a home you can all feel good about. This is where giving each other the benefit of the doubt — assuming forgetfulness instead of intention, stress instead of malice — goes a long way. It’s also important to approach concerns through safe, calm conversation rather than blame. Here are some important things to discuss and agree on with your roommates:

Talking about guests and sharing upfront helps everyone feel comfortable and respected. Be ready to compromise — maybe one roommate prefers fewer visitors, while another hopes to host friends occasionally. Try meeting in the middle.

Try these questions to help you talk it through:

Cleaning is one of the biggest sources of roommate stress, so clear expectations and compromise are huge here. Everyone has different standards; giving each other the benefit of the doubt — like assuming someone forgot rather than intentionally skipped a chore — helps keep conversations constructive. If something isn’t working, revisit it using safe conversation strategies, like speaking for yourself, staying calm, and looking for joint solutions.

Use these questions to have an open conversation and make a plan that works for everyone:

Roommate conflicts usually come down to things like noise, guests, or cleaning. If something’s bothering you, try to talk it out with your roommate(s) first. Use safe conversation techniques – stay calm, speak from your own perspective, avoid blaming, and be open to compromise. Giving your roommate the benefit of the doubt can also make conflict easier to resolve; often people do not realize something is bothering you until you tell them.

If you’re still having trouble after talking, that’s when it’s a good idea to reach out to a Community Assistant (CA) or the  Student Support Centre for support.

To minimize potential conflict, we recommend:

• Download the shared living agreement form and the unit cleaning schedule to help you and your roommates discuss shared living expectations.

• Set up a cleaning schedule: divide cleaning tasks and take turns.

• Include garbage disposal in your cleaning schedule.

• Decide how general household items (cleaning supplies, toilet paper, dish soap etc.) will be purchased.

• Discussing and setting limits on what’s reasonable volume for TV, music, phone calls, video games, etc.

• Discuss when guests can be invited. For example, only on weekends? Only weeknights, before 10 pm? Only during the daytime?